Worst Play List Ever???

For those of you that don't know, I no longer get to work from the comfort of my house. I've been moved into an office (well kind of) down at the Lethbridge Herald. I don't really know any one that works there, no body showed me around, I don't know where the break room is, I even had to find the bathrooms on my own. I'm not sure what the point of moving me was, but I was moved none the less. Yesterday I met the guy that works in the office (uhh, once again his is only kind of an office) next to me. His name is Bill, I don't know what he does, nor do I really care. Bill is probably in his mid to late 40's, and today he decided thathe would put on some music. I wear one headphone all day long, usually listening to podcasts, and the occasional listen to the new Guster album (two thumbs up.) But I couldn't help take notice of what my good friend Bill was listening to. I sware I'm not making this up and in no way did I alter this play list for dramatic effect. Here is Bills Tuesday afternoon at the office playlist
1.Walking On Broken Glass- Annie Lennox
2.Rasputin - Boney M.
3.Take My Breath Away - Berlin
4.Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers
4.Momma Mia - Abba
5.Thunderstruck - AC/DC
6.Start Me Up - Rolling Stones
7.Raise A Little Hell - Trooper
8.Sweet Child of Mine - Guns N Roses
9.Simply The Best - Tina Turner
10.Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers
11.You Don't Know How It Feels - Tom Petty

The words 'bad cliche' come to mind. And if this random assortment of top hits from years gone by wasn't a good enough, Bill also treated me to his singing during every chorus and whistling every guitar part. Yeah, that is way less distracting than having my daughter come in every now and then to say hi. It looks like the move is really helping me stay focused.
Please feel free to leave songs that Bill may have regretably missed, in the comments. Maybe for Christmas I'll make him a mix CD that will be to his liking.

You are wrong if... (part 2)

Back by popular demand, here we go, the first one is for you amy.

You think just because it's a "personal opinion" you can't be wrong.
You think the Bearstein Bears opening song is grammatically correct.
You think there isn't a "List."
You think "the List" doesn't matter.
You think it's funny or clever to make a joke about how big my Dr. Pepper mug is.
You read blogs but never comment.
You don't put CD's back in their case.
You don't think some guy piching his nipples with pliers on accident is funny.
You drive a truck, because it looks cool, and makes you feel tough.
You think Street Light Manifesto is ever coming to Southern Alberta.
You put more than one CD in a case.
You think that grey haired, bearded guy on the Canadian Tire commercials is informative.
You think my sunglasses aren't cool.
You've accused AFI of selling out.
You think you'll ever find a 7-11 in Red Deer.
You're not looking forward to the NFL season.
You think Alvar Hanso and Joop are infact the same person.
You think 5 in-5 out is a good method of coaching basketball.
You think just becasue you are in waterton you won't find a way to read my blog.

If you feel like this is kind of a weak list, look again I think you'll find that there are some personal shout outs to almost all of you.

A rope for a belt???

Missing Buttons? A rope for a belt? (and are those skate shoes??)
Garth, "YOU"RE A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MOONTAY!!!"

I think it might have rained last night.

Just in case you didn't notice, last night was one of the most impressive storms I've seen in a while. Just after midnight last night I decided I'd try and take some pictures, just to see if Icould get a good shot. I got a few alright pictures. Unfortunatley I didn't get a picture of the lightning strike that made garth run like a sissy back to my house. Or the one that rattled all our windows at 2:00 in the morning. But these shots give you a good enough idea.

Just a quick note

If any one of you happen to be the one that keeps putting the hose out at the garden on my carrots. I HATE YOU!!

The Mood Landing Explained

Apparently there was some confusion over my mention of the mood landing in my last post. I thought that I was dealing with a little more educated crowd, but it looks like I was mistaken. So allow me to enlighten those of you who didn't already know.
In western Europe during the 12th century there was a distinction made in language to sift out the serfs, from the truly educated upper class. This hybrid language was know as 'Bourgeoispeak'. Bourgeoispeak was formed by changing or adding certain letters in order to create a new word, a word which when spoke would signify that you belonged to the higher echelon of society. There are several examples of Bourgeoispeak, most of them long since forgotten about in the modern world. Mood is just one of those words. Up until the inception of Bourgeoispeak, the word mood simply didn't exist. Around this time there was also a heightened interest in Astronomy and even more so in Astrology. The word mood was Bourgeoispeak for moon. By using words like mood, people could tell that you in fact knew what you were talking about and you weren't some Johnny HenPlucker.
Evidence of Bourgeoispeak still exists today, even though the true meaning of words like mood have long since been forgotten. The present day meaning of Mood traces it's roots back the astrological meaning of yore. When the moon was properly aligned in the sky, in conjunction with your zodiac sign, one was said to be in a "good mood", Meaning the moon was in a good place. And likewise when the moon was not aligned, one was said to be in a 'bad mood'
I didn't expect everyone to know this. But I expected more out of garth and braden
Well now you know.

You are wrong if... (part 1)

You like Tim Horton's toffee donuts.
You like any program or application put out by microsoft.
Your name is spelled wrong. (Amy, I can't emphasize this enough)
You've ever voted for an american idol.
You drive slower than the speed limit.
You think wind chimes sound pretty.
You don't like the show "Lost."
You don't think Winston gets a raw deal when it comes to sports.
You think the north side is a ghetto.
You've ever used a smiley face or emoticon.
You like Guacaritos better than Dill-ritos.
You think Dr. Pepper tastes like medicine.
You think Krispy Kreme makes better donuts that Tim hortons.
You think Kobe should have won the MVP.
You think A.K. was a better running back than C.A.
You think Houston made a good choice not picking reggie bush.
You think the mood landing was a hoax.

This is just the tip of the ice berg, trust me I got more of em.

Am I supporting the Grill industry??

Last night as I was falling to sleep, I realized that the title of my blog, and one of my favorite sayings, "Eat Glass" may in fact be a poorly disguised euphemism for getting/having a grill. You know, like "I roll so many diamonds it looks like I'm eating glass" So all those years I've been telling people to eat glass I've actually been one of the leading promoters of a small fad in the urban sub culture. Nelly and Paul Wall are just biting my style.
After this epiphany I've decided to sell out and go main stream. So I've picked up a sponsor. If you enjoy my blog, please click the banner below and support my sponsor.



So as always everybody, Eat Glass!!

Web Browsers and Mispelled Names

Here's two things that drive me nuts, that are totally unrelated but oddly enough have the exact same solution. Having a hundred different web browsers and having a hundred different spellings for the same name.
First of all the web browsers. Now maybe it's because of my job, or the fact that slowly but surely I'm slipping into the world of geekdom (today I listened to my second Tech podcast in as many days, and I enjoyed it) but the fact that there are more than one browser out there is like the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Netscape, Internet Explorer, Safari, Firefox Opera... the list goes on and on. And if that wasn't bad enough, on top of that you've got multiple versions of the same browser out there, all with different capabilities. Of course everyone has there preferences, and I'm sure someone could make an argument in favor of each of the various options, and I'm not here to say who is right and who is wrong (unless you are reading this with microsofts Internet Explorer-from here on out to be called IE- in which case, YOU ARE WRONG!!!!) The problem is that every browser does things slightly different, and if you are a web designer you are getting email and phone calls from people telling you that their site is all messed up and nothing looks right. So the humble web designer pulls up the web site in question. But to his surprise, it looks fine. "That's Odd" he thinks, and he's right it is odd that a page that looks good in one browser is a train wreck in another. Here is the sad reality, so many people out there are using IE because it is the default browser on there machine, and they don't know any better. So if you are using IE to read this, do yourself a favor and go here. And one more thing, don't try to be cute by calling it Internet Exploder or Netscrape, it's not funny and you're not clever.
Next up is names that are spelled a million different ways. This seems to be getting more and more common. And I''m not talking about parents trying to come up with new unique names, if you want to name your kid Shelomith, or Pickley, go for it. I'm talking about names that everybody knows that are spelled different, and by different I mean wrong. Here are some examples. Amie, Nikki and Kortney. These names are spelt wrong. Everyone knows it should be Amy, Nicky and Courtney. And if you happen to have one of those crazy misspelled names, (and more than likely you are also a IE user) don't leave a nasty comment. I'm not saying you're less of a person, or anything, and I know that you didn't chose your name. Yes, I understand that there is room for diversity in the world, but do we really need to diversify the way that we spell names??? It seems that if all the names are pronounced the same how they are spelled is trivial. Let's look at Casey for instance. I happen to know a casey and his name is spelled correctly. But let's look at all the unnecessary possibilities.
Kasey
K.C.
Casee
Casie
Kasie
Kaysea
Kaysee
Kasee
Caysee
I think you get the point.
So the solution to both problems is this, Let's get together and decide on one uniform solution. Pick a browser that works, make everybody use it and end the problems. Likewise, pick one spelling use it and never have to worry about explaining that your name is spelled with an 'ie' and not a 'y' ever again.

Am I cool Yet??

So in me never ending quest to spend all my life infront ofa computer screen, I've deceided to start a blog.